no strings attached;
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10/31/2008
noone but me from URL @ 12:09 AM Drink stall aunty says no more milo pearl till next year. Wth ): we could leave this town and run forever 10/29/2008 noone but me from URL @ 11:16 PM Went to my cousin's place for my aunty's 8th year death prayers. There was the fish, the dog, the parrot, the other parrot, the two babies & a whole lot of people; and everyone/thing making so much noise! (Except the fish, duh, but oh, the tv kinda over-compensates i guess) I telll youuuuu, like fish market! But i like this fish market veryverystrawberrymanymany much! :D My aunty fed me! & i fed, burped and carried Krishika as she slept! :D :D (Okay la, on top of the fact that my chest *coughs, was comfortable for her, hahaha). So freaking cuttteeeeeeeee! So freaking cute. (& i realise that when i lived there, uhm, 9 years ago, the rose plant used to be super tiny but now its hugeeeeee! I rmbr my mom and late aunt loved that plant the most. & i miss my late aunt. When we stayed with her she was always the one who would scold my dad everytime he scolded me and she would always pull me into a big hug everytime i cried and she would always fill her nurse uniform pockets with sweets cos she knows that i love to dig and find for sweets there. I will never forget how she lost all her hair through chemo and still didnt manage to fight cancer nor when she passed away how my cousin kept telling me to stop crying and i kept pushing him away cos he wasn't crying at all; and then i will never forget how he completely broke down after that till he could barely breathe :/ the last time i dreamt about her was when i found out about my cousin's marriage. Now i've stopped dreaming about her. I miss my periamma, she must be happy though; both her children are getting married. but she must miss us too, hmm): I love this family of mine :) a whole lot, mind you. I got my rock moves, and i dont need you 10/28/2008 noone but me from URL @ 9:01 PM RUPINI IS A VERY EVIL GIRL.
Love can touch us one time and last for a lifetime And never let go till we're gone. 10/27/2008 noone but me from URL @ 11:48 PM HAPPY DEEPAVALI! :D Sus's house! Sus invited us over to her place for dinner on Sunday night and so the 8 of us went over! :D (okay this picture was at the end of the whole day, but nvm. Loooook! we look so comfortable and happpyyyy! :)  On top of the damn good food was the lovely lovely company of my lovelies! I've missed these people like, like crazzzyyyyyy! & well, the night was simply perfect :) (This was a 1-2-3 picture we took before sher & lichu came. I like sus's hair! HAHA)  & we had crazy fun camwhoring at all sorts of places dong all sorts of things and then chilling out in sus's room just chatting away till pretty late. & we met mryoungchan too cos he dropped sher off! hahaha. :)  Well anw it felt so comfortable & safe and i felt the 'finally back home' feeling; and thats pretty precious cos i rarely ever get this feeling anymore. Silences weren't awkward and conversations flowed with ease. AH, it just felt so damn good. So damnnn good. Hey lovelies, i love every single one of you! (including ya'll who didnt come!) So next up, sleepover! :D :D (I really really love meeting people that i've missed :) Athai's house! As per tradition i went over to my aunt's house, but this time without my dad or bro. Well, ate and ate and ate! HAHA. Saw so many people come and go but ayeeee! I spent most of my time with the twins! The two were sick with so much phlegm and were kinda wheezing, so heartpain ): So they were mostly crying and sleeping, but even whilst sleeping i couldnt stop touching them hahaha! This is Krishika! (The girl)  So cute right! hahaha she looks so fierce! Everyone kept saying she looked so fierce then they all started teasing saying, 'see la sarah, you always carry her now she's gna become the ncc commander like you'. (uhh which went on to how she shouldn't grow as dark as me, haaa. effect lost in translation, but whatever). But still so cute rightt! She really looks damn garang la! haha. &&& see! her right eye has grown bigger alr! And this is krishey(sp?), the boy.  This one action sleeping only! Then when taking picture he will slowwwwly open his eyes. Haha, he's much bigger than his sister but today he was the sleeping beauty. So cute, like an angel! :D ayeeee, poor things that the two kids are sick but ayeee still so cute! (& i still want a baby, or two or three, heh)Okay yeah. Oh my cousin's husband (or to be husband, aaah whatever) drew henna for me and its damn ugly. He named one of his artwork on my fingers as 'centipede with nipples'. go figure. Okay but as usual, it was reallly nice to be back among the family and all :) Thats the best part of deepavali really. Next will be my bro's confirmation and then another cousin's wedding the following week. Eggcitinggg! :D ididntmissmydadatallha. Kiron's house! (aka Mini-Nathan) Suzy Rahul & i went to Kiron's house for dinner as well. Well we sat around with his cmates and kinda literally chatted the night away. From like 6 to 10 plus?! haha. &&& of course the highlight of the night was when SR Nathan came over for dinner! HAHAHA Suzy & i got so excited we couldnt even speak. I barely squeaked out a 'happy deepavali' & we were introduced to him! :D Oh and cos we wre all sitting, when mr president came over i actually started asking kiron if we were supposed to stand to welcome him! HAHAHA. (ehhh. i mean, you knowwww!) But ya, coooool yo! :D didnt take a picture with him, cos it'd have been weird. (next time we will!) So yeah, on top of the highlight, it was a nice night chatting away. - So yes, nice deepavali! :D nish just told me about this indian dude who wished 'anaivarukkum deepvali vaathukal!' [uhh, vazhthukkal means greetings and vaathukal means ducks. so this guy's tamil pronunciation sucked so bad that he wished 'deepvali ducks to everyone' on national teeveee. dude! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA) rupini cooked nice rendang! hahaha kk random, bye! and i know, you can see right through me so let me go. 10/26/2008 noone but me from URL @ 12:44 AM today i slept at 4am, woke up close to 1pm, did housework then chionged for 3pm novena only to realise that it was chinese. walked around church, attended 4pm novena, left to find dvds at whitesands, bumped into shanisza and danial, went to nurin's house, 3 movies were freakin boring, nice lazing around though, went home. here. im playing 'fix you' by coldplay on repeat. nurin i realise that we wre planning to spend the day with each other, but by the time i met you was like what, 7pm already? haha. & i had a really nice time on friday ya'll. oh i bought punjabi suit and bangles and all for deepavali hoho. challenge quest on thursday was quite amusing. i had fun meeting my 4i lovelies tomorrow! :D :D :D nish you lousy): - i think im the kind of person who always wants to give people a second chance & i think i need to change that. sucks that i dont think i expect much 0f people, but i get disappointed all the same. okay its 0111 now! wow its been awhile since i've noticed the whole 111 time thing. k ciao. when you get what you want, but not what you need 10/25/2008 noone but me from URL @ 3:20 AM I like this time of the day best; after night has fallen and before dawn breaks. i think we should strike a match, we'll hold it to the wind and see how long it lasts, we can make the time stand still. 10/22/2008 noone but me from URL @ 3:00 PM Challenge Quest 2007. Central  I rmbr the person who sent me this picture after that asked me who nishanthi was cos he said she was very cute/innocent face. Guess who? Hint, he's in the picture. Cedar  I can remember very vividly who took this picture for us, heee. *Ahem! hahaha! Over btw, kaypohkiaaa! Kath  leen & ISomeone was kaypoh & decided to take a picture of us haha. (I look autistic & you can only see kath's famous no-hair-cedar-ponytail) - Pffffffffffft. Grahhhhhhhhhhh. Bye. oh what a thing to do. 10/21/2008 noone but me from URL @ 11:27 PM Absolutely Random Picture.  scream my lungs out, trying to get to you.
noone but me from URL @ 12:41 AM i had a very nice day today too :) east coast is really very pretty at night, i like. especially when the front rider of your double-bike is riding so damn slow that at the back you can raise your arms to the sky, sing out loud and absorb the beeootifool view! mwahahah! (im saving your face loozer!) anw i think i worry a lot nowadays & i hate it when i care so damn much but i cannot do a shit about it. i want to scream 'unfair', but really, whos to say whats fair and whats not. & im beginning to wonder if the truth, if such a thing were to exist, is relative. i think i think a lot of things, hahahehehoho; well whateverrrrrr, there are a lot of things to be thought about. (mr wong says to improve my critical thinking i should think about anything & everything, whenever & wherever i am.) so there, i have a reason, bye. & __ cannot _______ ____ it all didnt happen; dont work that way. maybe the timing, is beating our hearts 10/20/2008 noone but me from URL @ 12:05 AM  HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LOOLOOO, AND YOU SMELL LIKE SMELLY POOOOO! HAHAHAH! okayokay kidddding! but happy 17th my dearest looser! :D anwanwanw, rmbr that fateful nightwalk we took during oac tog? im damn glad for it cos if not i would not have made such a deardear friend :) thank you to you for being there for me, always making me laugh and always making me feel like the winner! hahaha. but you know what, looser or not looser, i still love you veryverystrawberrymanymany much alll the same! & hey, you owe it to me okay! i branded you with the name LOOser! :D hahaha happy birthday sher! hope you have a lovely day! :) - My internet's working again! Whooptidoo! :D (Funny that when i stare at this screen with my fingers all poised for typing, a whole lot of things run through my mind but i dont want to put any down.) Oh! I cannot wait to go to hq! Yeap, thats alll, goodbye! its taking quite a lot, and im still not sure. i wonder what you think. i jumped across for you 10/18/2008 noone but me from URL @ 8:42 PM Today i went to read my super-old archives (yaaaa nothing better to do, literally) & i copied some of the funny extracts! hahaha i started laughing to myself then of course went on to the whole, 'i miss ):' mood. butbutbut! i shall share! :D (so ya, long post) Nurin! One (otw home 2007) me: "eh, shd i buy my brother dinner?" "from where?" "dont know. KFC?" "ehh, actually i feel like eating cheese fries..."(looks at each other) "NURIN! me toooo" "okay ah, okay okay set" (we trailed to KFC and..) "the aroma very nice ah" "HAHA. i think i want to eat chicken!" (so we decided to buy one chicken each instead) "okay, so one chicken k" "okay i think i want to buy a drink also" "okay." (paused. then a woman walks in front of us with cheese fries and two big chickn and drinks and allllll) (nurin & my eyes trailed her tray and then we looked at each other then.. ) "AHHAHAHAHAHA" "okayokay, we share one cheese fries also okay?" "hahahah okay!"(glance at each other and burst out laughing again! HAHAHA) - Two (sms convo, hari raya 2007) Nurin: ..& i don't like my skirt and heels. cannot run laaa. Im indeed not gracious.. Myself: HAHAHA, of course you're not gracious! HAHA.. Nurin: EHH, I CAN BE GRACIOUS IF I WANT TO LAA... Myself: HAHAHAHA, yeahyeah i know. Somewre deepdeep down inside there's a little gracious kid. Hahaha!.. Nurin: Hahaha, alamak! i sat down and crossed my legs so openly that a small part of the thread from the slit just tore. HAHAHA... - Three (before chalet) 'oh yeah. nurin called me and said she was to scared to put the Ju-On VCD in her bag, HAHA. LOSER AMALIA LOSER! ' Kathleen! One (Thailand trip 2006) 'and then, i had to do sth i've never done in my WHOLE life in the toilet.i shant reveal that, to save someone's face.' (She made me stand in the toilet and face the corner while she was bathing! bathing you know! COS SHE WAS SCARED. OH & must talk to her non-stop somemore, hahahah.) - Two (Os studying 2007) 'anw, i was teaching kathleen chemistry yesterday; i got abused badly ah kathleen. like before she ans a question she would flail and swing her arms ard madly whacking me. (she even said she rmbrd the valecy of calcium cos the prev time she said that ans, she pinched me. so when she pinched me, she rmbrd the correct ans -__-)' (hahaha kathleen still rmbr the valency not?) - Three (Natl Camp 2006) sir: what district are you from? kath: NCC sir: yeah, what district? kath: LAND sir: North, South, East, West? (and YOU KNOW WHAT KATHLEEN SAID?!) kath: LAND. - Four (online convo 2006) 'and kathleen also; so funny nowadays. she said she hates the haze; somemore no firefighters to fight the fire. so i told her to go there and be a fire fighter. and you know what she said? " HAHA. im so cool i would probably put all the fire out at once just by standing there if i were to do it. HAHA"' - Five (Emergency preparedness day 2006) 'there was this woman wearing some lion jacket. then she stared at kathleen and me. then she starestarestare and asked, woman: "are you all from hong kong?" then kathleen and i just -___- woman:" eh, or are you all from sarawak" again we -___- then i told her, me: "errrm, we're from singapore" then,woman: " OH OH, your NAME is sarah. haha i thought you came from sarawak" so kathleen looked at her name tag, - Y.T KONG kathleen: " HAHA, no wonder she thought i was from Hong Kong" then after awhile kathleen said," then she from where? ZOO AH?"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!! :D' - Suria! One (Thailand trip 2006-teaching the orphans) (suria's teaching them colours) suria: green kids: green suria: blue kids:blue suria: red kids: red suria: what is this? (points at a colour) kids: what is this. AHHAHAHAH! absolutely hilarious (: - Two (Thailand trip 2006- waking rup & her) 'this time the 2 of them didnt wake up till like half an hour to breakfast. so i did muu' style. " OI! can you all wake up or not?" woah, power la. both got up immediately. and then suria was searching for her phone and i was like " its on the table". and this is the funny part, suria was all odd and quiet in the morning, i thought it was the morning thing, but guess what? she was scared of me! AHAHHA. goodness, fancy that. she was intimidated! HAHA. okay, it was veryvery amusing to rupini and me.' Adlin! One (gg down the stairs 2006) 'forget it la. she's the all-time classic winner for her spasticity, lameness and retard-ation. noone shd even bother competing against her. (walking down the stairs frm classrm block) adlin: why you carry your bag like that? (kathleen was holding it in her hands) kathleen: haiiya, cos i dont want to carry. adlin: then you might as well put it on the floor and let it walk right? me: they dont have legs. -__- *a pause. adlin: but they have BAGbones what! HILARIOUS, no? haha.' - Two (POP 2006) 'i promised adlin i'd say this,ADLINF FARTED DURING OUR MOMENTOUS HENTAK WITH THE SPECIALISTS 06'. the lil farty baby.' Delta! (Unit camp day 2 morning) 'Then it was 615 already. And i had a feeling that Delta hadnt woken up yet, so nish and i went back. AND YEAH THE PIGGIES wre sleeping. so we entered and i shouted, "FIRE FIRE". no one moved. then i shouted again, " DELTA! FIRE!" AND ZOOOOM almost everyone sat up straight, HAHAHA it was damn funny. well we began day 2.' --- Okay, very long post. But, hahaha :D All those rubbish days, moments & times. Okay lazy to update, just 1)saw a damndamndamn nicenicenice bag on fri, but $160): 2)nice morning today :) kudos to syimah! GOALLL! Do what you do Just keep on laughing One thing's true There's always a brand new day 10/15/2008 noone but me from URL @ 11:21 PM i had a nice time last night and today, btw :) 10/14/2008 noone but me from URL @ 9:48 AM You'll come back, when its over. Sometimes i feel like i've lost myself. I chanced upon the testimonial Mrs Loy wrote about me last year & the characteristics she described now seem so alien. But then i wonder if that's enough for me to know that i've changed. Perhaps i guess, the only documented proof other than all these thoughts floating about my mind.  &I knew what i had in mind when i came to Vj; i knew what i was going to leave with and im still planning to leave with those grades. As difficult and impossible and unpredictable as it may be, i know that i will. Simply because i want to. That much direction, i do have, but beyond? And the same things that've been happening keep happening but its beyond me as to why i keep getting so affected now. I mean, you don't just play around with lives, or life and death. Everything is intertwined and even the smallest of actions lead to the biggest reaction and the biggest of reactions trigger another action and it just goes on. Its tiring.  And another thing that hurts is seeing people who mean slightly more to me, change. No i dont blame them, who am i to blame them anyway, but i blame myself for not being able to accept them for who they are. Some i can, but some i cannot and it gets me hard. You cant have everyone right?Someone told me its about letting go, but, how will you ever know if you're letting go of the wrong person? i dont know and about now, its not a risk im willing to take. These people, friends, people who have meant a lot, well, they could mean a lot more in the future right? how will one ever know?  & then i wonder what's happened to those days? cast your insecurities aside and laugh and play and have all the fun in the world there is to have. grahh, i want to have platoon outings and meet my 4i lovelies & days like last night with my ladiezz was simply awesome. okay, they still exist just not as much, but aiyaiyaiii i want more. Sometimes i dont know who i am, sometimes i dont know who you are, sometimes i dont know whats happening. Most times i really just don't know, you know? But then you can't know everything can you? I want to forget the world for more than just a moment, doesnt mean it never been this way before. 10/10/2008 noone but me from URL @ 10:15 PM WHAT DID ONE VOLCANO SAY TO THE OTHER? I LAVA YOUUUUU! Just now when i brought Monty for a walk, a bunch of old men started talking to me in Malay. I kinda figured that they were asking what breed Monty was, so like, aiyaa, how am i supposed to say 'mixed breed' in malay right? So i said, "campur campur". HAHA. :D Anyway, Caught house bunny and mamamia with roopiboopi on monday! House bunny was funny shit & mamamia with all its songs was lovely! :) I like singing those songs btw, so you'll hear a lot of it from me. Be honoured to hear my beeootifool voice! hahaha. Shopping with adlin on tuesday got me a coooolteeshirt & a pair of pumps. & adlin bought her wususu! HAHA. As usual we went to starbucks! :D yummyyummyyummyi'vegotloveinmytummmyyyy! went for parade on wednesday. supposed to go jogging but stoopid rain ): met Patricia on thursday for dinner & starbucks! Well, simply put nothing can beat the company, whatwith 1) patricia! 2) double whip cream! :D hahaha. but anw, hadnt gone out with her for like 7 months plusplus, so it felt damn good to finally meet and talktalktalk! It felt really comfortable sitting and chatting away. & though its been long, it didnt/doesnt feel so different, you know? (: &&&! bumped into zerlina taaaan! goodness girl! i havent seen you for 5 years & just as i was thinking about you, i meet you! :D Met Suria Nish & Rup(awhile) today (friday) at ppmacs! :D same old thing again! I've missed all the usual laughs smiles conversations and nonsense. Really, it was a perfect way to end the week, TGIF yo! (eh TGIF! hahaha) nicenice, HAHAHA. I've missed you two a lot btw. moremoremore! :D - Yeap my week. Simple joys :) (yesyes no studying! mwaha!) Gotten back a few results, hoping for the best for the rest. Tmr's my little baby twin nephew's and niece's 30day prayer! & mark my words when i say nothing is going to spoil my day manzz. Nope. Cuteee leeetleee babieeeez! :D I think school next week starts at 10, or sth, everyday. Whooptidoo! Oh & pw gets on my nerves ah, reallly. Ohoh! I made friends with SR Nathan's grandson! :D hahaha cool or what! We call him mininathan & everytime i look at the president's picture now i think of him hahaha. And suzy & i have grandgrand plans! Heeee. I want to go jogging at ecp! ): & I wish i could tell you what you're in for, but somehow i know i won't; cos, as much as it hurts me, i know you wouldn't believe me. & pointing fingers shifts the blame, but really, just think about it. the guilt is still gna lie with you. sometimes i really get horribly pissed off, mad even. dont you think i feel bad enough without you blaming me? come on la, i know i've failed, failing, whatevershit but i know. so wtf is your problem. i cant believe that you're so cheap to make yourself feel bigger by making me feel smaller. fuck, you're a fucking adult. grow up when? & i get extremely put off with people who talk at me. yeah, i'll stop there. & i absolutely HATE, detest, despise people who dont mean the things they say. & i like sitting by the coypond with adlin. we've named the ugly coys now! There's saphire, sport, ugly, dirty, japan, milk, dory, pumba etcetc. ahahha. & Grey's Anatomy is starting on star world sooon! Patrick Dempsey! :D & desp housewives too. hothothotttt! & talking about hot, syimah thinks im so hot denaturation will happen! HAHAHA thanks ah! kkk long post! im gone. byebyebye! Or am I standing still Beneath the darkened sky Or am I standing still With the scenery flying by Or am I standing still Out of the corner of my eye Was that you? Passing me by.. 10/07/2008 noone but me from URL @ 1:31 PM Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go (i didnt go to school today!) BEST! (gg shopping with adlin later!) LAGI BEST! heeeee! :D &&&! someone's heart went shalalalala last night! HAHAHAH. dont shy la ehhh, aiyoyoo girllll! & kathleen kong, i cant believe you replied that to my email! HAHAHA. eh, secret ah pls. - reply tags: HEARTSECURITYGUARD:D: hahaha, still stoopid okay. anw i've told you alr, for you i'll smilesmilesmile! :) nicoleng: eh hello! i dont dao you okay! i just gave you a big hug that day! & my dear girl, you're always my no1 annoying friend, ahhaa. syimaholmes: 1) just bake la! haha anyth. 2) HAHAHA. eh you dont talk so much ah! i will talk on the phone ah, dont jealous! hahaha! zaz: 1) hahaha really brb what! maybe not right back but i came back okay! & YAH EH! i want to eat goreng pisang also! 2) HAHAHA EH. you cannot make it la pls! whaaat only 'many many advance' HAHA. here, my fav smiley for you! :L) zaferin: haha yes cambodia! & i did try to make clay marbles but ehh, didnt really work out, haha. & yeahhhh ): we could see each other whenever wherever last time. everyday in tl class somemore! ): nvm, meet soon okay? nish: haha you think what, you teletubby ah! HAHA. :D suzy: HAHAH eh, i didnt go to schooool! anw im sure yr pasta was nice! :) - (& my internet's still down, using bro's com) okay nothing to say, bye. you have stolen my heartttttttt. 10/06/2008 noone but me from URL @ 12:35 PM 5/10 HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ZERLINA TAN! haha hello you! im sorry i didnt get to msg you cos i lost yr number. anywayyyy! happyhappyhappy birthday to you! :D i still havent forgotten you after 5 years! i think i'll never forget you la anw, ahha. Rmbr those silly pri sch days long ago when all the teachers used to scold us for talking so much! almost every teacher, haha. &&! mrs tan! rmbr she scolded us for playing with each others' arm fats! HAHAHHA. & i will never forget that you were the one there for me when my parents first separated. as well as the one who made me feel welcome when i first entered SACPS. haha, dont think i said it then but thank you, you. i havent seen you for very long btw zerlina tan guan ting, i miss you a lot! 7/10 HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO AMELIA LEE! finally seventeeeeeen! hope you'll have a lovely day tmr! :) You've been my longest lasting friend, eh 8 years now! & im very sure we're gna be friends for muchmuch longer too. You rmbr our old days? catching, swimming, playing dress-up & all our walks to and from school for 2whole years. Rmbr making great plans to watch a PG movie cos we wre so afraid we'd get caught w/o our parents! hahaha. You were the one who lived me through my worst times. I rmbr i lived in your house more than mine, haha. I pratically grew up with you my dear! & you know, with you our friendship is special. we can meet after eons but when we talk its like we were never apart. i love you amelia lee hui jun! 9/10 HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZHI YUN! tay bimboooo! hahaha happy birthday to you! like finally you turn 17, slow or what! haha. anywayyy, whenever you read this i hope you have a lovelylovely day ahead :) with you, aaaah, rmbr how fattywong chucked us tog with gc & sus and how it was so awkward cos we were never really close. but turns out it was the best thing ever wasnt it! hahaha, i will never forget those days mann. & you became my classmate for 4years! :) & oh! rmbr all our hamsters! HAHA! & how we used to annoy taitai & mrs peh, hehh. but apart from that, we've been through quite a lot havent we? i'll never forget those days & neither will i forget you. i love you my handsomeeee bimbooooo! :D - Ah, done :) My internet explorer's not working so yes, birthday shoutouts in advance. Anywayy, back to school & yeah going through the damn shithead process of getting back promos papers. History was irritatingggggg, dammit. Ohwell, against my own gut instincts i hope SEA will pull me up. & i got a S for maths! (eh! not U okay!) not particularly proud, but hey! improvement. & soooozy got A for maths!! IM PROUD OF YOU MY DEAR FRIEND! yeah so far only those. Hmmmmm, well. yeah well. Kinda got a lot of thoughts floating around my head now, but well. Gna keep them there, where they're the safest. Somehow speaking my thoughts makes me feel vulnerable. :/ weird? whatever. I guess they'll sort themselves out. Right? right. & today i discovered a horrrrrible side of adlin, zomg. i bet no one even knows this adlin mann. i tell you, pure evil you know. pure like pure chocolate evil, gosh. & eh! to the extent that my heart started racing okay! i suppose she may have a point, but zomgggg eeeevil. this adlin ah, haiyo. & i cannot stand seeing cedarians with unkempt uniform; pisses the hell out of me. going to watch mooovies with rooopibooopi later! :D adious samigo! sometimes i think of you & wonder if you're thinking of me too. and your heart starts to wonder where on this earth i could be. 10/03/2008 noone but me from URL @ 2:41 PM And all the roads that lead to you are winding, And all the lights that light the way are blinding. there are many things that i would like to say to you, i dont know how. Pleasant day today. Went to school for grad assembly and it was pretty good actually! (I've missed school :) Vj's teachers are damn on, cool yo. (You dont get male teachers anywhere else dancing on stage in cheerleader uniforms doing somersaults till you see their & z was in sight quite often, mwahahah! Anyhow i think i'll miss the seniors, particularly my ex-specs but everyone else too. Ohwellll, life goes on, shuddup. Then went to popeyes with suzy & adlin :D Walked around & shopped for a bit & i bumped into lichu & abby (!!!!!:D) & then zhiyin. Adlin bumped into her classmates & she was so happy she almost cried haha. Well, another simple joy- meeting people i havent seen in a long while :) Plus i spent childrens' day with rupini nish & narmo! Quantity time + quality people = another simple joy that makes me :) :) :) Yes okay. Anw, im doing something i've never done before- scrapbooking! Kinda like what i've done so far. fought with my dad yesterday, Meeting my dad later for dinner, seeeee yaaaa. dunno wtf he's gna say now. talking about you gets to me so much so that i start to shiver so bad. thats how much you mean to me btw. the pain's physical. by now you should have somehow, realised what you gotta do.
noone but me from URL @ 12:05 AM But that is how its gotta be, its comin' down to nothin more than apathy. I'd rather run the other way than stay and see, Yeah k well, im feeling quite zoned out now. Today it hit me i guess. I feel it & quite acutely as well; but its strange that i dont even know what that 'it' is. Perhaps, the mistakes i shouldnt have made then, the things i should have realised then, or the choices i should have made then; i cant place my finger on exactly which it is, but simultaneously they all hit me today. Hard too. Sometimes i think im really stupid for not having realised all these back then, when it was so distinctly obvious; & when it mattered. But i guess there was a reason for me to not have. There's a reason for everything, isn't there? Im sure i feel anger, disappointment and hurt, but the feeling of helplessness is the one that gets to me the most. How could i have been so damned stupid? Dammit. But well, i'll put up with it, with you; just don't expect much cos i dont know for whose sake am i even bothering. I want to disappear. I want to colour and paint and draw. And bake. I want to bake. Oh and i want to jog and jog and jog. & listen to loud music. I want to sit at the round table at cedar and just watch all my pltnmates talking. Or sit at the back of 4i & listen to abby singing and watch everyone doing what they're doing. Or sit in the treehouse at vj & talktalktalk about nothing and everyth with adlin. mooooooooooo nish moooooooooo, i love my bully. Lets rearrange, i wish you were a stranger i could disengage. but thats disregard, you find another friend and you discard.
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Hello, I'm sarahJ 290491 ex-cedarian, victorian NCC- delta 07, cadet officer |
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Friends abigail adlin cheryl esther fadhilah hasyimah hazwani li chu jessica jingyin kathleen li chu narmadha nishanthi marliyana muhaina mujia natalie nicole nurin marliyana patricia pohsin rupini shanisza shermaine sunmeng suria xiaowei zaferin zarifah zerlina |
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& You say? |